10 Most Amazing Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey

10 Most Amazing Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey

If you’re a fan of Saturday Night Live you may remember the funny little bits that used to air in between comedy stints in the years 1991 to 1998. The Deep Thoughts segment would come on with zen-type music and viewers were expecting an inspirational moment with a thoughtful quote. Instead, they were presented with a hilarious and slapstick Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.

Laughter is sometimes the best medicine and laughing regularly can help keep our minds off of things, provide health benefits, and even relax us to help us to sleep better.

Who Is Jack Handey

Contrary to popular belief, Jack Handey is an actual guy. He is a writer and comedian and spent several years as a staff writer for Saturday Night Live. He wrote the famous Deep Thoughts segments that he put into a book,  Deep Thoughts. 

10 Most Amazing Deep Thoughts

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey is a book that holds some of the funniest and most absurd segments from the Saturday Night Live years. Here are some of the most memorable ones:


  • “If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it’s probably best to avoid eye contact.”



  • “If I ever get real rich, I hope I’m not real mean to poor people, like I am now.”



  • “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”




  • “Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.”




  • “I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”


  • “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”


  • “To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.”


  • “Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.” 



  • “Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.” 


  • “I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.” 


Why Is Laughter so Important? 

Laughter is proven to have positive health benefits. It reduces stress, and we all know that a stress-free mind helps keep our body healthy. 

Laughing regularly can:


  • Relax your body.


  • Boost your immune system.


  • Increase blood flow and heart health


  • Decrease pain.


  • Improve your mood.


Laughter can also ward off conditions like depression which can possibly lead to sleep deprivation. Being sleep deprived stops us from living productive and positive lives.

Sometimes making fun at life and taking ourselves not too seriously can help make us feel better. Sharing jokes and humor can strengthen bonds between people and help provide a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. 

Reading a few funny jokes before bedtime can help us unwind and make us feel more relaxed. When our mind is not running all the day’s problems and tomorrows to-do list it’s easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. 

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